Kathy Manley: The Chosen Baby, Me

Kathy Manley: The Chosen Baby, Me by Aline SmithsonAugust 3, 2025

©Kathy Manley, What She Came With

Adopting a child often comes with good intentions, but for the child, it can be a complex growing up with feelings that question belonging and self. Photographer Kathy Manley has created a narrative of her search for self, for family, and for untold truths with her project, The Chosen Baby, Me.

Kathy M. Manley is a photographic artist whose work serves as a conduit in the exploration of human behavior and the natural world, in particular, the connections and physical characteristics between these inter-twined forms. Anthropological and Dendrological research serves to inform and inspire her images.

Kathy’s curiosity and interest in families and family dynamics lead her to look her own beginning. Manley was adopted as an infant at a time when societal norms were very different. She always felt like she was different, didn’t quite fit. Using archival materials, family photos, and her memories she has provided a retrospective view to her experience.

Manley received an A.A. in Fine Art Photography from Northern Virginia Community College, a M.Ed in Instructional Technologies and B.S Elementary Education from George Mason University. After a 31-year teaching career, the transition back to photography began by helping teachers inspire young children to use cameras, Helping teachers develop visual literary techniques and children with a new ways to demonstrate their learning, She has maintained a studio portrait practice for the past decade.

Kathy has continued her studies in photography through coursework and classes at her local Universities, National Geographic, Santa Fe Photo Arts, Center for Photographic Arts, and the Los Angeles Center for Photography. Her work has been included in group shows both nationally and internationally. She has been published in several books, and she curated a solo show at Crooked Run Gallery, in Sterling Virginia.

Manley lives and works in Arlington, Virginia.

Instagram: @work2snap

©Kathy Manley, Chosen Baby Book, The book we read weekly at home. It was an attempt in to get kids to “believe” that being chosen was way better than being givien way. The story was strange as it made it seem like babies all came from the store and you could get a boy or a girl.

The Chosen Baby, Me

The Chosen Baby, Me is a response to a story I wrote called “I have my Mother’s Eyebrows”. Both the story and these images are a path I used to explain and understand my feelings about my adoption.

I used archival family photos collected from both biological and adopted family members. Information from local papers, ancestry.com and other documents I collected. I re-crafted and reshot much of the source imagery I used. I learned so much about myself and feelings I had the I was unaware of questions without answers. I hope this work can help others begin their journey into their own adoptions.

I always felt love from my adoptive parents and was a happy child. I lived the “Leave it to Beaver” life. I had friends, played outside for hours and went to the library every week. I had so many opportunities and experiences I would not have had growing up in my birth location.

©Kathy Manley, Always Aloners

Growing up, I never really understood anything about my past; culturally or historically. I was told from an early age that I was adopted. Really had no idea what they meant but it sounded like there was an adopted kid store somewhere you could go get a baby. We read The Chosen Baby once a week. The Chosen Baby book was propaganda to dup you into someone really wanted you and not the opposite. I had become different than what I had been the moment I was picked up at the Home for Unwed Mothers. I had cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. While I loved all these people and they seem to love me. I always felt like an add-on. I never knew anyone else.

I felt incomplete, like something was missing. Some part of me. I was different than these folks I grew up with. They were calm and quiet and I was not. I was the loud one, one side in the dirt while my mi and cousin wanted to don white gloves and go to tea. The concept of Nature vs. Nurture provided a basis for a lot of retrospective and introspective thinking once I was old enough to understand what it all meant.

©Kathy Manley, Family Car

While many adopted children struggle with plenty of issues related to their adoptions. I didn’t. I did not break things, I wasn’t angry. The thing I most wanted was to feel belonging to people I resembled in some way . I’ve spent most of my life searching for, looking for people with very specific features, people who I looked like, people who I could share a history with. I convinced myself that my adopted Dad was my “real” father. As we both had curly hair and blue eyes, this was truly a childhood fantasy. I felt so strongly like I should have grown up with other people. Always wondering could I be their sister, daughter, aunt, etc. Knowing I’d never have most of the answers I was hoping for.

I did not like being an adopted only child.

©Kathy Manley, Family Tree

Tell us about your growing up and what brought you to photography.

Growing up I was encouraged to express myself through art in many ways. My favorites were painting and drawing. My dad’s hobbies were painting and woodworking. My mom’s were sewing and a specialized type of folk painting. I was expected to create my own meaning from an early age. Living just outside of the District of Columbia we had access to so many resources and art exhibits. I have a very vivid memory of my mom keeping me home from school so we could visit the Mona Lisa at the National Gallery. My dad had a Kodak Waist View camera and I was fascinated by it. I have a picture of me trying to use it as a wee toddler.

When he deemed me old enough he gifted me a new 35 mm camera and I went crazy. There was an immediacy to making pictures that I didn’t feel with painting and drawing even though the film still needed to be developed. I made lots of images of things and people — I have always loved making pictures of people. I was asked what I was going to do with my life and I was clear in saying I was going to be a photographer. After a bit of parental counseling it was clear that while photography was a wonderful hobby, I was expected to do something with a garnered retirement. After all I was a female child of the1950’s

©Kathy Manley, His Paper

What has been the most profound revelation in creating this series?

Understanding new perspectives. This work started out as a way to share some of the absolutely hilarious stories of my bio Dad; Foxy. As I begin writing the story I realized the story was mine and the work needed to be about me. Working with archival images brought back a flood of memories, I begin to see certain patterns of behaviors that help me understand the perspectives of the others in my story. An example is the Reading of The Chosen Baby book. I have always felt like that was like reading a sales pitch to a kid. As I looked at and explored materials I realized this was my perspective alone. My parent used this as a way to educated me and put my feeling at ease, in theirs eyes it was a resource.

©Kathy Manley, Irish Twins

Was your adopted family aware that you found your blood related siblings?

I was embarrassed by “being “ adopted. This was not information I shared easily. Not until I did this work did I begin to explore what my adopted family thought about my origins. My closest cousin on my dad’s side did not believe me. She said I had ” Manley genes” and I was my father child. I shared my DNA results. My mom is the person that the state of Virginia contacted to tell that my birth mother was searching for me. My Moms met and had a very positive relationship.

©Kathy Manley, Obituary

How has finding them changed your sense of self?

It has given me as sense of calm and belonging that I’d not known before while its also been frustrating My birth moms’ family has always known about me. They were so excited that she found me. They have all embraced me in wonderful ways and I see and talk to them regularly. I could not be happier about having siblings. I said I would be happy with whatever relationship they wanted. I don’t feel that way now. I want more. I have a great relationship with one, a now and again relationship with another one and no relationship with other two. I do hope that changes in the future. I think I will always be an add on with them, acknowledging this makes that easier to manage. my expectations.

How does the story end?

The good news is that it doesn’t! I took a break to do another project but have started to do research about my two moms and their lives. There are a few family members still living who knew my mom really well and by Bio Mom has two living sisters. I want to take advantage of their knowledge.

What is inspiring you lately?

Sound and Memory. Im just fishing up a project where I am asking if random sounds can produce a memory or memories. I used the work of James Mollison and Richard Avadon as inspiration for designing this project; topology and stark portraits. Working with sounds has been a learning curve for me. “My Moms” project is big inspiration at the moment, Im researching and gathering, collecting information for that now. I’m also starting to write about a project I’ve had in my head for a number of years I’m calling it Jesus’ Price Tag, Religion for Sale.