© Kristine Nyborg, Learning To Speak Bear published by Yoffy Press

Learning To Speak Bear by Kristine Nyborg, published in 2023 by Yoffy Press, is a story about the grit of a mother of three children.

With the description in mind and the book in hand, as a fellow artist-parent I had questions for Kristine. I am grateful that she found the time chat with me.

© Kristine Nyborg, Learning To Speak Bear published by Yoffy Press

Sara J. Winston: Congratulations on the release of Learning to Speak Bear! Let’s get right into it: thumbing through the book is not simple. The fore-edge is not consistent, the pages move further in and out than expected. How did you arrive at this unusual design choice for Learning to Speak Bear?

Kristine Nyborg: It was a collaboration between the designer Ania Nałęcka-Milach and I. She had wanted to do a design like this for a while and I fell in love with the idea because it felt messy, just like motherhood. It also made it harder to flip through so the viewer has to take some extra time to get to the next page. I want the book to communicate the feeling of motherhood, and Ania’s clever design certainly helps with that.

© Kristine Nyborg, Learning To Speak Bear published by Yoffy Press

SJW: Following the title page, your book begins with a piece of your writing about what you identify as your first failure as a mother. This was a visceral hit for me. It reminds me of the reality of doing so much reading about childbirth and absolutely no reading about what would happen to us after leaving the hospital once my own child had arrived. 

KN: That right there was why I wanted to make the book. We come unprepared for motherhood because as a society we don’t talk about the things that make motherhood hard. We may admit it’s hard, but rarely why or how it affects us. Our expectations are not met once we get home from the hospital. We have to go through a metamorphosis of sorts to find our stride as parents, and then that stride getting challenged with each milestone the children pass. I wanted to make a book about what happens after birth, the overwhelm and the relentless interruptions. It is the book I wish I’d had when I first became a mom.

© Kristine Nyborg, Learning To Speak Bear published by Yoffy Press

SJW: Please tell us about your editing criteria for sequencing the images, text, and drawings throughout the book.

KN: My main criteria was that none of the images could identify the children. There are hints to their faces but they are anonymous throughout the book. For sequencing it was important to me that it would feel a little bit overwhelming, messy, and at times peaceful. It took me a while to get it right and I ran it past many people before locking in on the final edit. I chose a Norwegian friend who is a mom and author to write the foreword in Norwegian because that is my mother tongue, and the book has both the translation and original text in it. The small texts are a mix between texts I wrote in early motherhood and texts I’ve written since, most were written into the notes on my phone as I was in the midst of it all. I really wanted to include my daughter’s drawing because it further made the book feel like it was messy, as if some kid had come and drawn in the book.

© Kristine Nyborg, Learning To Speak Bear published by Yoffy Press

SJW: At what point did you title the work Learning to Speak Bear? Were there other possible titles for the book?

KN: The title was something I decided early on with the work, before I had decided it was a book. It is an indirect quote from my son when he was just over a year old. I asked him which language he spoke, since we’re a bilingual family, and he replied he spoke motorcycle. It reminds me that with each of my children I have to learn a different language, because they make themselves known not so much through words but through personality, body language and tone. Our common language, especially in the beginning, is so void of words, and feels a lot like trying to communicate with an animal.

© Kristine Nyborg, Learning To Speak Bear published by Yoffy Press

SJW: Does the work in book form surprise you? What is it like for you now that Learning to Speak Bear is out in the world? 

KN: It hits me sometimes that it’s out there now, living on bookshelves and tables and in people’s lives, but I’m not sure I’ve let myself fully sit with the feeling yet. Sometimes I’ll pick it up, smell it and think about how much effort was put into making it, and how grateful I am to all the women who helped me work through it. Sometimes a message will land in my inbox and someone will tell me how it has touched them, that is when I really feel like I’ve made something that was worthwhile.

© Kristine Nyborg, Learning To Speak Bear published by Yoffy Press

SJW: Have you received responses from other artist-parents? Would you share an excerpt and your reaction to their comments?

KN: I have, and it feels so good when it happens. One told me she had bought it, then when she got it she had to order another one because she felt it was so important and wanted to make sure she had a pristine copy. Another favorite was a fellow photographer who had left her copy out on the kitchen counter, and then her oldest daughter had seen it. The daughter had been mortified because she thought her younger sister had drawn in her mother’s brand new photography book, but it was just my daughter’s printed drawing. Many women have reached out with gratitude because they felt seen and validated in the work. Those comments have meant a lot because that was what I set out to do. Here are some:

“Your book arrived!!! It is SPECTACULAR! It is so so so so special, I’ve looked through it so many times already. You are such a talented photographer. I know this book was a labor of love (no pun intended), and I am in awe of your strength and courage. I think this is such an important story to get out into the world. Motherhood is no joke. “

“The layout and secret messages are so cool to find, and my kids had something to say about some of the images. Lol. Particularly the placenta and poo smeared toilet. “

“I received your book in the mail on Friday and wow! I LOVED it!! I laughed, I cried and just felt so much with every turn of the pages. Your photos and words were so relatable even my husband thought so. It’s not just a book about motherhood. It’s a parenting book and I think this is the first parenting book that I have ever seen that truly conveys what it feels like to be a parent. I loved the different size pages and secret messages. They are thoughts which I have had but never dared say out loud because I’m supposed to be happy to have kids and everything is supposed to be rosy. It feels validating to read someone else have those thoughts too.My daughter who is 7 also loves your book! She doesn’t read English yet, but she says it’s the coolest book she has ever seen! The kids love the poop toilet photo ”

SJW: Similarly, have you received responses from those who are not parents?

KN: Yes, and those responses have meant a lot because I wasn’t sure they would understand it. There is a sense of admiration towards mothers in general who do all this work on top of everything else.

© Kristine Nyborg, Learning To Speak Bear published by Yoffy Press

SJW: How do your children read and react to the book? Has the book changed the way they interact with the camera, or how they feel about being photographed?

KN: My children are very different and react differently to being photographed, which I’m mindful of. The camera has always been around, and since I don’t pose them or ask them to perform for the camera they don’t pay much attention to it. They know that they can say no if I’m bringing the camera into our activities, and they were all given full veto power over any image of them in the book. Luckily they only objected to three pictures. Two because they felt they were gross, those were the poop and placenta pictures, and one because they felt it wasn’t true. That was the letters on the fridge saying “I do not love you”. None of those three photos have people in them so they didn’t get to veto them out. They know photography is my job, and since it is something that contributes to me being unavailable to them, they’re not huge fans and haven’t shown much interest in my work or the book itself.

© Kristine Nyborg, Learning To Speak Bear published by Yoffy Press

SJW: What are you currently working on, and what is on the horizon for you as an artist?

KN: I’m currently working on a new workshop. I make my living from photography in many ways, and teaching workshops is one of them. The workshops are their own body of work in that I try to take each participant on a journey, using photography as a catalyst for self-reflection while learning visual storytelling. As far as photography projects go I’m diving into another project about identity. Most of my projects are tangential to that theme, but this time I am looking at culture and language. It is still in the early stages. I’ve also been in a few exhibitions this past year, which has felt exciting and fun, so I am looking forward to more collaborations with galleries in the future.

© Kristine Nyborg, Learning To Speak Bear published by Yoffy Press

Kristine Nyborg tells stories through photographs. Her work explores the links between daily life, culture and mental health. For the past eight years she has focused on maternal mental health with the project Learning To Speak Bear. Nyborg’s work has been published in publications across Europe and North America. She is a Norwegian photographer living in Canada.

Yoffy Press‘s mission is to transform bodies of photographic work into objects of art through an innovative and collaborative approach to photobook publishing. We seek artistic partners who inspire us and projects that amaze us and then leverage our individual strengths to create an elevated, dynamic work of art.

Sara J. Winston is an artist and contributor to Lenscratch.

Follow Kristine Nyborg, Yoffy Press, and Sara J. Winston on Instagram:
@Kristine_Nyborg; @yoffypress; @sarajwinston